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https://dancingqueendc.tumblr.com/post/668760190890475520

Good-morning, Baby, I hope I'm gonna make it through another day.... https://dancingqueendc.tumblr.com/post/668760190890475520 https://youtu.be/SQPjqtcjHIo Hi everyone, I just found out from UNIVERSE CREATOR-CREATION THAT MY ATHEIST EX HAS BEEN STALKING AND HEXING ME 2007-2021 15YEARS TO MAKE ME SICK AND SABOTAGING MY RELATIONSHIPS AND HINDERING MY PERSONAL GROWTH. PLEASE KEEP PRAYING TO LOVE TO STOP HIM FROM HARMING MY SPIRIT. I PRAY THAT HE LEARNS FROM HIS KARMIC LIFE LESSONS AND GO AWAY TO LEAVE ME ALONE. I MIGHT HAVE TO GO TO THE POLICE TO FILE A REPORT OR REQUEST MD DC COURTS TO RENEW MY RESTRAINING ORDER. PEACE LOVE JOY BLESSINGS AND THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT. @dancingqueenDC #Goliath @dancingqueen #LOVEart I am reaching my Twin Flame this year again finally after 15-19years of Abuse, Hell, Rape, attempted murders, so please be patient with me as I work on clearing my Energy Aura and LiFE/EXISTENCE OF THIS DESTRUCTIVE DEVIL. UNIVERSE WILL BE SENDING HIM TO SPIRIT PRISON SOON! IMMEDIATELY IS WHAT MY ANCESTRAL SPIRITS ARE TELLING ME. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE AND PEACE, NOW I CAN LIVE ABUNDANT JOY AGAIN SINCE 2008. Lil red devil....what do u want? Colors... What color? You can't name my favourite colour????....lil red devil, you'll never get me.... I'm protected by the highest power....I'm the new James/bond girl–I'm the girl who never dies!!!!!!!!..........and I can run faster than any of you....I'll never be "it"-color.... I can only be me, let me be me.... I forgave you a very long time ago and I do not want or need your fake friendship or DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS..PLEASE GO HEAK YOURSELF AMD STOP BOTHERING OTHER PEOPLE THEN YOU WILL GET YOUR KARMIC LIFE LESSON ONCE AGAIN BE FREE AND HAVE HAPPINESS PEACE LOVE JOY IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU HAVE HEALED. THANK YOU. I LEARNED MY LESSON FROM YOU AND I DONT WANT OR NEED YOU TO DAMAGE ME ANY MORE. GO IN PEACE SERVE THE CREATOR CREATION LOVE ENERGY EXISTENCE IF NOT YOU WILL CEAZE TO EXIST AND BURN IN YOUR FIREY HELL YOU CREATED FOR YOURSELF. I PRAY FOR YOUR SPIRIT TO HAVE EVERLASTING PEACE AND FORGIVENESS. OHM NAMA SHIVAYA HONOR THE LOVE THAT RESIDES IN YOU HEAL YOUR BODY BLESS YOUR SOUL CLEANSE YOUR SPIRIT AND PROTECT YOUR HOME STRENGTH THE LOVE IN YOUR BEING WHEREVER YOU ROAM MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU LIVE IN LOVE AND PEACE AND PROSPER I PRAY FOR YOU WMQ THAT THE DEVIL LEAVE YOU ALONE AND LEAVE ALL EARTH AND GO BACK IN ITS PRISON OF NOTHINGNESS AND CEASE to EXISTT. NAMASTE

Lion Tamer, Dragon Slayer

https://pin.it/2PhgpBz Lion Tamer, Dragon Slayer I am a Tiger, not a Lion.... I can defeat a lion, a dragon, anyone.... You tame Lions.... I'm no ordinary Tiger, I'm a Wood Tiger.... My Heart is Raging Forest Fire My Spirit is Ocean Tsunami My Mind is Omniverse Nebula mother universes of stars I was made from the passion fire between Raging Forest Fire my mom and my dad Quiet trickling babbling underground stream That both go into the Ocean in a Raging Fire I was forged in the womb of stars From van der Waals chemical bonds I am a free Spirit, with Open Mind and Abysmally endless heart you fall in forever.... I burn for you all the night stars dying to see you you douse my flame when you see me gaze in my eyes I see you we fall endlessly I with you hole in my heart infinite passion everything disintegrates in our flames I only see you nothing else matters help me see you more clearly I am lost falling into your eyes when we are lost in your woods do not look for us we don't want to be found wanna be lost in you forever....

Ufo 2016 10 14 #12vid anomalous flying objects SE dc

Vid#12 ufo 2016 10 14 Oct anomalous flying objects: http://youtu.be/duspLoOQRi8

Real Secret Societies - Diaboli Ordinati Intrepidi

Solfeggio 852 & 963 Hz ➤ Cleanse Pineal Gland & Open Third Eye | Native ...

WARNING! Extremely Powerful Genius Awakening Binaural Beats - Alpha

The girl who silenced the world for 5 minutes

How too soon we forget, i still feel this same way since i was 12

#revolution #change #remember June4 1989 #Tiananmen Square #Massacre

freedom equality justice for all uphold our constitution human rights

i get my fill by the sea shore

Wednesday, 11 January 2012, [7, 1] , my first entry is poetry, pfun intended pfor pfil (I wrote this late last ni, in wee hrs of morn 3~something AM, up all ni, thinking...) I get my fill by the sea shore, (many many sea shells gallore) I am ocean & you are beach, that's how close we should - must be - Next to each other; As the sea hugs the shore, Where i love to be - wrap around you in our embrace, hold u in our love-dance; Like the tide, steady coming back again, constantly as our hearts throbbing with each breath together we in unison take I miss your kiss.... my dear, my friend how do I love thee, let me count the ways ... - Shakespeare Let me count the waves, ever never ending as the ocean embrace the shore that (is) I love your for ever and ever more .... http://dancingqueendc.blogspot.com/2011/05/shooting-stars-sooting-hearts.html (Missing an "h" in my first / original post) It has been raining, supposed to be raining since Sat(however, chem trails post-poned & dissipated the clouds til Monday), for a few days since our first snow in DC Monday 9 Jan 2012, and has been freezing since Tuesday. And thus began a new 26,500-yr cycle re-alignment of Earth with the center of the Galaxy-Universe. Yet, here I am alone since NYE, new year's eve, having dinner alone, by myself again... for two weeks now, constant reminder of our first & last disagreement. Well, it wasn't really a disagreement, more of a misunderstanding (here we go, with those semantics again...), between you and me, two people who like each other, a lot!, crazy about each other???, so frustrated about our lack of seeing each other/aka being together in person, that we both were so upset we made mistake of drinking & drunk text messaging, unintentionally hurt each other's feelings, mal-communication issues, that we forgot what's most important: our feelings for each other are beyond understanding: i.e., I miss you beyond comprehension, beyond our own understanding, so please come home, my dear.... Let's just embrace & hug each other. Every time we have an unnecessary disagreement, it rains every day I cry, it just rains and rains til we get back together again... at least for me, it can't rain all the time, yet it keeps raining til your return, back in my arms, twinkle in my eyes, in my sights & sound of your voice next to my ear, in our loving & passionate embrace - come back, please, I mean it!!!! Mush me...

etupN readN huffpost X2passout

Exceed unlim 5Gs internet radio shoutcastN tweetdeckN UtubeN websurfN fbookN myspacN linkdN-in google buzzN gmailN blogN tweetN twitpix status updateN me

Hhhhmmm

ide trying to get out!
So what's a girl to do, ask her big bro (surrogate) for Advice of the Trans-formers kind: All, Hail Megatron, he has the answers!

Ive been asked for a sit-down, i'll explain everything with heavy drinking involved, silver spring IMAX 3D style. I have like a bazillion butterflies ins

http://www.myspace.com/69800833 Ahren EagleStar24

Joey is booking amtrak ma?ana will call when on way so joe can pick him up fm union sta.

haingan zu' ki'm ch'yöng hâi ngân Zú Peace Love & Blessings

and contact me call my voice only ph 2023616724 or txt email msg m

no longer have ur info so I hope peeps will google me @dancingqueenDC

ys ckg to see if they tried logginginto my unlim internet, they gav

or IDs, and the broken ph that they cant make ph calls. After 2-3da

ents cards inside, unfortunately for the theif no money cash credit

o Blackberry black leather case with all my business contacts & cli

. House keys & library & shopin cards gym card with them attached t

cts, pix, art, photos, "friends", busness documents, info, etc. Etc

in May 28-29 Sat 2-3am at @PJClarksSidecar in DC, lost all my conta

MyTouch Slide sucked into the pda mobile camera phone evil Vortex of DC again

Adopt-a-Prisoner Campaign Jun4 22nd Anniv of Tiananmen OPEN LETTER TO UN SEC GENERAL To Release Prisoners of Conscience, Nobel Peace Laureate Dr Liu Xioa

LOVE Dupont photo digital print by @dancingqueen 4sale @artDC.org gallery Patrons Exhibit now, closing event tba. Sales benefit @InitiativesforChina.org

Bo, Liu XianBin & thousands fm TheCCP Chinese Communist Prison

:u know how hard&fast her heart beats now? think & heart pounds strong enough 2 go thru her chest, turns up n2 beating drums in her throat, like rhythms

of bass spinning disco

Shooting Stars & Shooting Hearts...

Wednesday, 18:43 4 May 2011 (4,0), another Special Day in the Universe



shooting stars and shooting hearts



sight locked on hi

when first came i
here to seek, find
missiles aimed, yet
arrows weak broken
mind, soul intertwined
lost
instead shot heart
rise
fly, shooting stars

....

to spirit sky
soar
worlds
within
butterflies


c.2011

dancingqueen


(ask me, I'll tell later)

May 2: Order the DEA to Cease and Desist, Rally for Patients’ Rights!

May 2: Order the DEA to Cease and Desist, Rally for Patients’ Rights!

K - so I've been a lil busy.... going to another protest rally today for Medical Marijuana Rights for Patients, including me....




(will get back to you guys lil later, so long as i don't get arrested.... at the DOJ in DC)

DC Med Marijuana Rally May2 12N @DOJ http://m.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=102887729798024&refid=7

Mon28Feb2011=(7,2) productive day: I"m FREE!!!! Of this physical Earthly torture, my soul-spirit FREE to soar 2Nfinity & Beyond!

ram to find myself re-discovering myself again... tons of work... gettin excited... will update on progress if only lil@atime 2start...since the world/whirled began....

is so dynamic and fascinating...so much in life/world... to sort through, much like our human thoughts, emotions...Bps Billions/sec....
Old notes....

ext return to mspace &fb which i've neglected this wk, since it's a full time job exploring the world via internet & recovering in hospital pain mgt prog

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 11:47pm....
....
.... part of my healing process is writing, so I've started a lil bit, looking @youtube, blogger, gchat, lil twitter, n

Skies http://blueskies.fm (:
"I'm happy just because, I found out I am really no1!!!!"

ions, slow is torturous death to my heart's joy... give me Passion!
Bottom of Everything (cover) by Dave from Blue Skies http://youtube.com/MusicfromBlue

r replied til almost 3am Sunday, seemingly also just words of apology, still lack real action in those words... I need/ want to be with sponteneity & act

I am very sure if u want me u would be here, im certain there's always a way 2 heart. - I sent this txt 2 my date who cancelled Fri night, never called o

Live fearlessly, act with deliberation, find ways and means to your heart's passions: joy.

I had this wild dream this AM.
Meds make me dream about Alien invaders who want to breed & take over Earth... republican party?

Blue Skies - Alaska, Day 35-37 in Hospital

24 Jan 2011 (11, 3)

My entire entry was deleted by back key on ph .... again .... so just enjoy the song and book "Alaska" without my rantings & ravings... btw in short another sleepless night for 2day (of 2wk) stalemate ends tomorrow am - should I stay or should I go.... (maybe someday will explain / elaborate on this week's battles w/ resident & SW tag-team ... uurrrggghhhhfrustration .... ok this is a beautiful song so listen & read on:




Tormenting spiritual day? (See numerologoist.com) ....

Carole King - Tapestry, Day 30 in Hospital

Wednesday, 18 January 2011 (5,3) - Day 30 in Hospital My Life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue - Carole King This song was one of my faves this past summer... a drifter passing by this past year has taught me a lot about myself, parts of me I learned I may want to avoid exploring with the wrong person, maybe only with a very special person - I wish to have my very own best friend....one who is always here for me in all times, good or bad, a true friend to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, someone who loves me the same way I love.... (oops! got deleted by the text editor with no return again...) .... Well, hopefully the bearded man won't be coming to take me back for a long while, how 'bout like never... I want to be young forever and never die, live forever and just go to heaven... It's been very busy here, following most of the program and orders... on "good" behavior and perhaps maybe get to go home soon to finish regular outpatient physical rehabilitation.... We shall see.... My lunch date never showed... worried either he went for a walkabout and never returned or just not that interested as he says/thinks (talked on phone with a date from the summer and hoping to catch up in person sooner or later or never to discuss what really happened or maybe nothing....) not really holding my breath .... .... yet .... and reminiscing of past good times, wondering if I shall ever see anyone again - I know it will be all up to me!!! Alas, my choice, my decision, my democracy, my freedom... God, I love my freedom and choice even more than ever, even if it is sometimes a deterrent or rather a detriment if I make the wrong one!!! I hope to be making better, more informed, and positive choices from now on... (hmmm sounds funny if "from now" sounds a bit strange)... Sorry, I haven't elaborated much on the drama or happenings on the 6th Floor here, I will edit and make some comments sometime sooner or later (here we go again....) .... Week 2 of new meds: way too much too fast. However getting good report, even if the med make me very sleepy and cannot wake up in the morning or rather til noon-ish - Headaches are still a big issue (hormone imbalance won't be addressed here as "advertised" - they won't even let me see an eye dr for my recurring conjunctivitis!!) - I think they rather like to torture their pain patients... wait a minute, they even admit to this!!! "You'll hate me before you love me" - says Dr. T current attending... O, finally met the program director at JHU pain program this AM. Interesting fellow. Asked me if I remember meeting him before... Nope, I don't think I do. No really I don't remember meeting you before today... I must have quite ill when I arrived: or I just really do have STML short term memory loss (Amnesia) a specific type. Yep, it's true... (thank God the resident is doing her guinea pig interview / case report on another classmate and NOT me!!!! She wouldn't like to know any of my secrets - I told her the other day, even if I had any paraphernalia for her to confiscate I wouldn't tell her.... of course, my great and amazing nurse J. HE told her, reminded her and also me that the attending dr wants all physical therapy devices taken away from me - now that is even more evidence that the really truly do want to torture their pain patients, cause us more pain for NO REASON, very illogical!!!! to take away devices that help us (me rather) perform and function better with less pain so I can actually do physical therapy exercises as prescribed... ) .... They truly are a sick bunch of quacker-wackers up here on the 6th Floor.... jk, maybe not really.... My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue.... it really is amazing that I am still here.... quothe an anonymous "friend" who texts me however without a name so I've no idea, no clue which "friend" on facebook or myspace or ??? it really is.... stranger than fiction!

James - Sometimes + Laid (Live at The Academy, Dublin)

Dr. MLKJ Day Observed Monday 17 January 2011 (4, 3), US Federal Holiday

It has been nice long 3.5 da weekend, almost as good as a 4-day wkend... good ending to a difficult, bad-news week, & good beginning (hopefull) to a better solution_problem-solving week... so on a good note, or notes rather, I'm enjoying an old college-day favorite: James - Laid / Sometimes combo (LIVE 2!!!):



....WENT OUT ON DAY TRIP (TLOA) to the American Visionary Art Museum, which alwas inspires my creative sparks & conjures up interesting thoughts, ideas & musings from my artistic nature whence my soul was conceived... (see GA Kiwanis Art competition, 1983-1993).

...and found the restaurant lounge on the top floor first (the foodie in me...) before anything else: Mr Rain's Fun House!!! Yay!!! Wrapped up 2 relaxing hours playing marbles-gumball machine with 2lil kids... (the eternal kid in me...) after having a Kobe dog w/kimchi, of course...

I was almost in childhood bliss again... for a few hours... Whoopeeeeee(actually sat on 1 part of live art installation,bench covered in whoopee cushions for Laughter - (L-gene) exhibit feat. Comedy & flatulence jokes & comics... amid myriad funny exhibits in ecclectic display...

More in couple days... Day 28 tues, 4wks in pain treatment... & update hopefully by end of Day 30

Enjoy rummages from college days: James - Laid, 1 of best fave albums... (wishing 2B subject 2that subject) ....

14 January 2011 Day 25 - Bic Runga & Semisonic - Good Morning, Baby

Friday 14 January 2011 (1,3), Day 25 in Hospital Pain Treatment

Well, it's been quite busy here in the program, and progressing more rapidly than before. I hope to find more time to write and re-post lost journal from Day 20.... Thursday, during lunch, one of my pain classmates mentioned that it was Thursday the 13th... (wooooo-ooooo), ridiculous.... "it's worst than Friday the 13th....," they said they were jk....

I've been thinking about this ol' favorite of mine for a while this past few weeks and decided it was past due time to post: Bic Runga's debut with Semisonic in their song "Good Morning Baby" (I hope I'm gonna make it thru another day....), which was what I was thinking during the 2nd week here in the pain treatment program during the Holidays in Dec....





My Rx-induced osteopenia-osteoarthritis has been really bothering me this past wk&a-half now, yet they are adamant about keeping all my impingement (restrictive) devices from me while in-patient (restricting me from restrictive devices.... mainly my wrist splints for during sleep and physical therapy exercises, so I've really fallen behind in my shoulder impingement pain-reducing strengthening exercises with my thera-bands). I should be able to return to using my aides once I return to my regular out-patient physical rehab program @DC.
However, 'til then I'm on full restriction, no mobility devices in-patient on the floor, and only limited use with permission only when outside on "day" trips.... I wanted the Rollator to push my heavy groceries back on public transport when returning to hospital from grocery store.... (I will explain this story, since I wrote it on Day 20, yet that posting was "lost" in cyber-space, on why I am wasting valuable money on expensive organic vegan groceries, while the government medicare insurance is wasting over $50/meal costs charged by the JHU hospital, daily on in-edible foods ("trays" vs gut-wrenching blobs on the "buffet" table), which cost less than $5 bux down in the cafeteria yet I'm still being charged full $50+/per tray/meal anyway....) .... My classmate JS says in jest, "so are you still wasting your $50 meals on the Kosher menu trays... ha ha ha ha ha...." Y, Yes, of course! Y not, I'm hoping each time, "curious", if they will ever send anything up except the same eggplant-veggie wrap and/or the fried eggplant parmesan, both have that's right - dairy products in them, which I avoid eating at most costs... let's see... flour based products like the "wrap" has gluten, dairy, eggs, usually, and then there's the cheese inside the wrap, which all have caused me tremendous amount of ab pain during the first 2wk that I endured eating some of the veggies between the "Kosher" "trays" and the "buffet" of blob that they call food here... and also, of course fried anything parmesan has wheat or flour products, gluten and oils and also of course dairy and/or egg products... all of which I must avoid eating since they are the main culprits of my ab-stomach pains... and you'd think the pain treatment program is to help reduce amount of pain and suffering one endures and yet here we are all suffering much more pain than we did before we came into the program, because they ween us off the pain-meds and then add other substances to our daily intake which definitely increases more pain, cuz it always gets worse before it gets better.... ye-ah, right... we get it.... pain treatment program....

Anywho, it's been a "rough" (huge understatement there) 10days thus far since 5 January til now... my roommate (they moved me after Day 15, from one end of the hall (the better end, and warmer too, esp in that private room I first had during 1st 2wk) all the way down to the other end toward the front of the hospital in the smaller room....) for the past wk&a-half, who loves "cold" air (bbbbbbrrrrr shudder, shudder, shiver shiver....) as opposed to my love of Caribbean-temperatures above 75deg F., has truly gotten worse before she will get better due to the "weening" down of her old pain meds, i.e. lower titrations of addictive type of pain meds vs. increased titrations of non-addictive (or so they say...) alternative meds for "chronic" pain/medical conditions...

Frankly, I was okay the first few days of my titration of SNRIs to "reduce" chronic-pain symptoms, until they suddenly upped the dosages in 2-day increments instead of 4-5day increments, and for the past 4-5days of sudden increase, I still suffer from insomnia and all my multiple sleep disorders at night, and despite being able to get more than 4-5hr of sleep some nights (now that's a lot more than I used to get @hm before being in the program, so about 2-3hr avg per night & usu less than 4-5hr at the most on a regular basis then), yep despite getting more sleep than I used to without the new meds... and now on the increased meds, my sleepiness in the AM also has increased so that it's been soooooo hard for me to wake up... that as of Saturday morning, even after crashing in bed early and sleeping right away, after having 4x's more meds than the first day they started me on them... less than a week ago... I was unable to "wake" up, no matter how hard I tried, (well, I really didn't "try", it was more like noise e.g. loud talking by my roommate, her nurse and husband, and/or combination of both or all three, every 30min or so, that kept arousing me from my deep dream-REM-sleep this AM between 8:30 - til about 11:30 EST (-5GMT)... anyway the dream continued every time I was aroused and couldn't "wake" up and immediately fell back asleep within "short" time (relatively)... and what a dream it was:

The most stressful part of the 4 hours were: 1) the nurse woke me very early (before 8) to take vitals (always sux cuz most of them want me to actually STAND UP for 2nd BP... and everyone knows a person w/ severe joint and neuromuscular pain, arthritic pain, and rheumatic pain doesn't "get up" right away, takes up to 2+ or more hr most times....blood-work is worse cuz they may jab u w/ needles as early as 5); 2) roommate talking loudly on ph w/ hubby or nurse, making me think she was talking to me... ; 3) noise every 30min; 4) actually wanting to and trying to "wake" up yet cannot actually keep eyelids open....; 5) knowing I am not awake nor asleep during those minutes in between partial arousal and before falling asleep... (UGH!!); 6) cold air!!!! (draft from 30deg F. air outside keeps drafting in the thin transparent windows... esp since maintenance guy suddenly came by 2 Thursdays ago to "remove" dangerous screws from the window area and then all the old blinds along with them... that's another story I wrote on Day 20 that disappeared n2 cyberspace...) which I sooooooooooo much despise any air below Caribbean temperatures....; 7) the dream was soooooo goooooood and seemed sooooooooo REAL that I really really really wished it was really really really happening instead of what was really going on in the room: me sleeping and trying my darndest to "wake" up so I could actually get the the fresh market before it closed at noon....

So, what was this wonderfully painful dream that seemed to continue on every time I fell back asleep....????? I was dreaming that I actually woke up early after the week-end dr left sometime around 8:23AM, and made necessary phone calls to my former "mother-in-law" for our plans to meet and go out (yay "day" outting from the hospital walls...), and what was most frustrating was that, although in the dream I was making the phone calls, I kept having difficulty getting through to speak to her about the program moving us from our current building location to another location much further away on a cruise ship shuttle bus/boat device which I thought would go directly from land into the water, then I had to keep reminding myself that it is only a shuttle to get us to the other building/hotel location where we'd be transferring us and all our luggage to a cruise ship that would take us to "Romans Islands" after a 3-4day cruise...

Wow, now that would be a great addition to our pain treatment program, in reality... I was trying to explain to Mum on my mobile and asking the driver/operator of the boat shuttle bus where we are and what address we are going to be dropped off to transfer onto the cruise ship, because part of the pain treatment program is to integrate us back into real life activities and one of the requirements was for us to go on this cruise to the islands, and see how well we perform on this activity to gauge whether we were ready to go back in the "real" world, living our "normal" lives with our chronic medical conditions, if we would be able to "manage" our pain such as standing on a small moving boat and getting around on the seas without our "sea"-legs, just yet.... That was a strange and curious, interesting dream and how nice it would be if it were REAL....

Good-morning, Baby, I hope I'm gonna make it through another day....

eek. My pain classmates plan to paint Fells Point Fri nite, our 1st outting together in 3wk since we've been in rehabilitation in Dec.

ote Day 20 @Hospital Pain Treatment; however it was "lost" in cyberspace (again) so I will leave some activity notes til I can write a full update this w

Listening to "Falling In Love With Your Best Friend (Paul Baribeau)" by Blue Skies - "ck out most awesomest band BlueSkies.fm @MusicfromBlueSkies" - I wr

Blue Skies - Fame and Success

First day of my life - Day 15 in hospital pain treatment program

WEDNESDAY, 5 JANUARY 2011 (6;3), DAY 15 in hospital pain treatment program...(start new medical treatment(s) today... now maybe get night appropriate rx ordered by AM...)

Today is the first day of my life: I took my first steps to overcoming my pain, all my past suffering, welcoming help and change - re-discovering and finding myself again...

And co-inky-dinky enough, Dave from Blue Skies just posted a cover of First Day of My Life (Bright Eyes), a beautiful acoustic version just 2 days ago when I was thinking of what I wanted to tell about my last few days in the pain treatment program. (It has been very emotionally painful 2 days for sure, any growth takes some growing pangs...)



Change and growth into a better person always takes energy, effort and can hurt; however, it is good pain, (ya know "NO pain No gain"), for example there is good healthy stress and the opposite would be anxiety. I found that pain that accompanies change and growth is often coupled with anxiety, a lot of stress; and it's how we manage (cope with) that stress that determines in which direction we can choose (Yay! Democracy!) to grow and change. Imagine a seed transforming into a plant, teeth and bones of a kid, and a caterpillar transforming its body inside a cocoon into a butterfly with wings! That would kinda hurt to suddenly grow wings, like Wolverine growing metal claws out of his hands! Imagine something breaking out of your skin from your bones... that image initially can seem extremely painful; however, it doesn't seem relatively so bad later when you're enjoying flying around or with super-hero power to save the day! It really is all relative.

It is still very painful to think of my life without my Mom right now. How painful it was for her to endure the 14 days in ICU and the 3 days before Thanksgiving, and all the 14-some-odd years she suffered from headaches, pain is subjective and relative, extremely personal, and unimaginable to another person who is watching someone else and who is yet to have experienced anything quite like it, (because we all each have our own unique individual experiences on this planet Earth, we each have a unique footprint, literally!, in life, although we all are part of the Whole Existence of Life, and we each have our own unique story, experiences that make us who we are, by our complex/complicated web of experiences...) because we can attempt to imagine when we have completely different backgrounds, personal soul histories, and life experiences to draw upon when the same incidents happen in our lives....

(For example, I was in a terrible rear-ender during college break with my former boyfriend Phil, who was driving his mom's car when it was "totaled" by a drunk driver, who paid too little attention to his surroundings as he was engrossed in his pain and suffer and loss after his wife just left him and took their child with her... he drove his car too fast into us trying to run through the intersection when we were stopped at a red traffic light only less than 25-50ft away from the Chinese restaurant to the right and behind us from the intersection.... He passed all his pain and suffering right into me, because I was paying attention to his lamentation and story as I sat so close by that I could hear his conversation with his employers, the restauranteurs who tried to calm him down and get him to stay instead of speeding away to go after and look for them cuz he wasn't about to let her get away and with his child... And for Phil, Phil just had a lil crick in his neck, a small bump in his road where he walked away to get his x-ray without as much a scratch, Phil who was 6ft-6'2" tall, lanky, strong, healthy potter/glass-blower... as opposed to me, who just finished 10+ months of physical therapy rehab from a major injury to my entire body being jolted about 1.2yr before then, and it was my second time recovering from another similar injury... I just finished Outpatient PT only a couple weeks earlier to home exercise program and still recovering from previous injuries... so you can only try to imagine what my body was going through at that moment of impact that jolted my whole body again, new injuries on top of old ones, pain in places that were fine before... I think it was different for Phil since he never noticed the scene behind him, of course, he wouldn't cuz he's payin attention to the road and traffic signal ahead of him and the restaurant could have been too far away in his hind-sight, rear-view... anyway he spoke and understood no Chinese or Cantonese to be exact... so his experience of the same incident, because of his physical state at the time and his soul / spiritual history/background, was completely different from mine...)

We each handle, cope, manage our experiences, pain and change and growth in unique individual ways... because of who and where and what we are now or at the time of this transformation, and because of who, what, how, where etc we are in our recent and distant past, our current life on Earth, our soul and spirit's life throughout Eternity/Existence.

Hhhhhmmmm Jan 5 a new date for me... This is the First Day of My Life, this next phase of transformation and growth physical, mental and spiritual. I thank the Heavens, God, Light of the Universe, and all Life-Energy (The Force!) for my soul experience here on Earth and through-out Eternity/Existence for every form of growth available and allowed to me in my Experience as a Unique Individual to return and add to the Whole Existence.

Anyway, hope you like Dave From Blue Skies' music, appreciate his unique talents and existence. It's so amazingly beautiful. LIFE = LOVE = MUSIC (ART) = GOD = EXISTENCE....

Peace, Love and Light continue to shine on, in and throught us all - btw, shout out time: Happy belated Anniversary to one of my best friends: Neeta and Mahesh, her husband since 2004, who is celebrating their wedding anniversary and new Year since Nov 4. I think it's Keisha and Justin's anniversary also... Jan 4... (I know I'm a lil late...STML Amnesia!darn)

Enjoy the First Day of [your, my...] Life....

Charlieissocoollike Youtooner - 31 December 2010, Day 10 (Today is technically Monday 3 January 2011)

31 December 2010, Day 10 in hospital looneytoonsunit [I know it's a bit late, but I did write this Friday, as a link to Post 1 (and ran out of time to figure out how to post it without the pop-up text editor telling me I had too many incorrect html tags...), and will catch up in a day or so].

Wow, there is sooooo much (I'm sure most people have felt this way about life and everything in it, and this' prob'ly just another mundane, banal comment...[and I very little like "mundane" - ...and so if I were mundane, then I guess I would little like myself or my own mundaness....]): so many thoughts, coming through so fast, especially this AM since last night, actually, (i 'heart' interjections!...), that I wanted to write them and did composed at least several(maybe 3-5) in my head; and, yet alas, my amnesia/STML leaves me, takes them away and they leave me....

Anyway, this was my first official on-line "blog" ever several days ago: dancingqueen: Blue Skies - Fame and Success (Day 5....)... which would make today Friday 31 December 2010 [Num. 10 = 1], Day 10 in the hospital.... [and from now on, I'll post the Numerology Value for each day with it's "Special Number" also....] (o btw every day in December 2010 has a special number value of zero (0) since December is 12 and 2010 also holds the same Num. values so any date's value between the same number results in zero (0), e.g. 12 - 10 - 2010 = (is equivalent to) 3 - 1 - 3 and the difference between 3 and 1 (3-1 or 1-3) is = 2 so therefore 2-2=0.

there is quite a bit happening so I will elaborate on these thoughts....[L8r]

Meanwhile, since last night, I've been discovering more about Dave from Blue Skies, and his song for Charlie's birthday, and who this Charlieissocoollike is....

[since Saturday, when I first wrote this Post 2, I have been doing a lot of "research" watching and reading vlogs from and about these "5amazingguys" and also links from "Youtoon" about them and their friends.... p.s. btw thanks 4 B-N amazingguys]

(Hopefully, since it's now technically Monday, I owe a post by Day 15, at least, since it seems I'm catching up in multiple days of 5s...., we'll see....)

3 January 2011 [1 - 3 - 4 = 8, 1 (sN)], for example....

Blue Skies - Fame and Success

Day 5: in hospital pain management treatment program




For the past two days, Christmas Eve til now, I've been overwhelmed with sands of time over my eyelids... dunno why I am so sleepy... then I thought I'd order Chinese take-out from local Ding How between Canton and Fells Point, to make my holiday more traditional, minus the great Hong Kong dim sum, since, of course, dim sum places, as if there were that many around B'more, have no delivery service; and then I lucked out on the third place I called from Yelp listing, except that I forgot to read any reviews before I called, so it was truly a surprise, especially even the price 'cuz I didn't ask for the total until the delivery guy called in only 15 minutes later to announce he was already at the main hospital entrance driveway.... ("Mmmmm," I was thinking....'til I found out what I really got, not exactly what I ordered or thinking I was gettin'....)

After surprising my charge nurse, she agreed to help me meet the delivery person to bring my order up since I am "imprisoned" on the floor until my behavior improves before I am allowed to request for a TLOA/Leave of Absence for "day" trips whether it's to wander out of the unit/ward to the rest of the hospital and/or to leave campus for "day" trips...



After all, I have been "thwarting" the doctors' authority here, or so they perceive my insisting on wanting to take my organic vegan vitamins and herbal supplements and my own medications I brought from home than taking their prescribed regime of migraine-causing color-coated pills (orange multi-vitamin, low-dose yellow aspirin, et al) and other meds which I've tried before in the past and gives me rash/hives (makes me itch!!!-yuck!!); and the charge nurse L says that due to this refusal to follow program/protocol (take their pills) I'm really asking for "it", to be discharged to return home, (ahhh...) back to my own doctors who are waiting for me to pick-up where I left off last Monday, Dec. 20, when some new and exciting progress has begun for me: I finally met with a social worker/counsellor who completed an evaluation interview with me right before this pain treatment program started, and who is also just a counsellor and not specifically a psychologist or psychiatrist...



I am wary of these psychiatrists these days since most modern psych/doctors no longer treat patients with counseling and just wanna shove prescription drugs down your throat and think that the Drug/Pharmaceutical Industry-funding of their programs-pill popping (since the late 70s early 80s) will be answer and solution to ALL problems and illnesses for ALL people....



Well, think again... I am not everyone or can be compared to anyone: I am a unique individual who has individual needs and I don't necessarily need any drugs at all to recover or get better from my chronic pain conditions... I just wanted some counselling.... and may get just what I need and have been waiting for since I moved here to finish my studies (that was the original plan then) over 11.5 years ago...

Anyway, it was really nice after all that my nurse L even allowed and also went down to bring my take-out up to the unit... She's very nice, they kinda all are... (it's their job!!!) and also firm in her role/position as Nurse, emphasizing and telling me that (same as "tough love" that Mom had) these are the program rules and my responsibility as the patient to allow and trust the doctors here, more than I trust the Chinese take-out that isn't Kosher, organic or vegan, to care for me the best way they can... (yadda, yadda, yadda - not her my Nurse L, but the doctors' plan/program... My (terrible and righteous) response was, "They did not even discuss the meds/plan with me [Thursday] before they left [Friday, a "holiday"] (for "vacation"), or asked me if I had tried this (med) before and if I have any allergic reactions, allergies to this medication...."



After I tried to enjoy the mediocre American-Chinese take-out surprise (the receipt and the dishes), I worked on the constantly crashing laptop (Thanks, Brad!!! for installing whatever you want on my computer instead of the operating system and programs that originally were installed on it by Toshiba and myself.... Thanks, a lot!!!!) and late into the night after watching some Hulu and talking with my Dad finally since his line was busy earlier (unsure if his phone was disconnected again because it had been non-functional several times in the past month), I returned to the blitzing new cell phone HTC MyTouch, to continue browsing through the apps and programs.... (it's after 11:30-something-ish now, and one of the floor nurses just poked her head in to check to see if I am asleep or still up, and if so how much longer....???), that's when I re-discovered Dave from BlueSkies on YouTube / on my internet phone, to lul me to sleep...

The following is one of his latest videos that I haven't seen since I discovered his talent/art/music back during the summer, when YY still lived with me in my former house where I rented a room (the dining room converted to a private room) between the living room and the kitchen on the corner of the house which faced E-W Hwy at the corner of Rt.1... (Ahhhh.... the good ol' warm sunny days of summer that I miss sooooooo much and the comfort of living in a house instead of a crappy weird dangerous apartment building, with a back yard I used to lay out on/in my bikini before my back "went out" (lumbago) which caused me to gain 15lb. due to inability to move and becoming bed-ridden and then trapped in the house with steep stairs inside and out without access for me to use my walker or new wheelchair now stuck in the basement since June 12, [where my former landlord was discriminating against me/my disabilities and income-source and refused to allow the state DORS Voc.Rehab./and independent living offices to assist me with getting a wheelchair-accessible ramp installed via grants/funding, (who is fortunate that I haven't file discrimination suit against him and his wife ("she says we should have never let you move in to begin with...") on Federal Fair Housing ADA law stating that any property owner/landlord are barred from discriminating against persons with disabilities and must allow for accessibility to dwelling units in structures with a minimum of 5 individual dwelling units (and he was renting 5 rooms with two girls in one room upstairs who each had separate leases, so it was 6 leases total and 5 private/individual dwelling units)], as if I were on house-arrest (nothing like Dr. Liu Xioabo's wife Liu Xia, though in Communist China for the Nobel Peace Award), and is now being used as a Parking Lot!!! (they're killing the non-grass weed/four-leafed clover-honey patches) by my new, now former roommates from Eastern Shore (who are only 20-21) attending the local big state university.... (and one of them, T says she may be failing college due to addiction to some stupid on-line video game she plays with the rest of her house-mates - Thank GOD I'm free from radio, TV, video game - addictions.... I just have social media addiction, which is good for my future career as a producer and for marketing my business and products/services/projects.... Ahhhhh.... one day sooooooon.... ) ....

And so here it is: one of Dave from BlueSkies' new videos this year (my new fave artist who is someone else besides me...): Enjoy!!! Fame and Success, a great combination of his many talents