For the past two days, Christmas Eve til now, I've been overwhelmed with sands of time over my eyelids... dunno why I am so sleepy... then I thought I'd order Chinese take-out from local Ding How between Canton and Fells Point, to make my holiday more traditional, minus the great Hong Kong dim sum, since, of course, dim sum places, as if there were that many around B'more, have no delivery service; and then I lucked out on the third place I called from Yelp listing, except that I forgot to read any reviews before I called, so it was truly a surprise, especially even the price 'cuz I didn't ask for the total until the delivery guy called in only 15 minutes later to announce he was already at the main hospital entrance driveway.... ("Mmmmm," I was thinking....'til I found out what I really got, not exactly what I ordered or thinking I was gettin'....)
After surprising my charge nurse, she agreed to help me meet the delivery person to bring my order up since I am "imprisoned" on the floor until my behavior improves before I am allowed to request for a TLOA/Leave of Absence for "day" trips whether it's to wander out of the unit/ward to the rest of the hospital and/or to leave campus for "day" trips...
After all, I have been "thwarting" the doctors' authority here, or so they perceive my insisting on wanting to take my organic vegan vitamins and herbal supplements and my own medications I brought from home than taking their prescribed regime of migraine-causing color-coated pills (orange multi-vitamin, low-dose yellow aspirin, et al) and other meds which I've tried before in the past and gives me rash/hives (makes me itch!!!-yuck!!); and the charge nurse L says that due to this refusal to follow program/protocol (take their pills) I'm really asking for "it", to be discharged to return home, (ahhh...) back to my own doctors who are waiting for me to pick-up where I left off last Monday, Dec. 20, when some new and exciting progress has begun for me: I finally met with a social worker/counsellor who completed an evaluation interview with me right before this pain treatment program started, and who is also just a counsellor and not specifically a psychologist or psychiatrist...
I am wary of these psychiatrists these days since most modern psych/doctors no longer treat patients with counseling and just wanna shove prescription drugs down your throat and think that the Drug/Pharmaceutical Industry-funding of their programs-pill popping (since the late 70s early 80s) will be answer and solution to ALL problems and illnesses for ALL people....
Well, think again... I am not everyone or can be compared to anyone: I am a unique individual who has individual needs and I don't necessarily need any drugs at all to recover or get better from my chronic pain conditions... I just wanted some counselling.... and may get just what I need and have been waiting for since I moved here to finish my studies (that was the original plan then) over 11.5 years ago...
Anyway, it was really nice after all that my nurse L even allowed and also went down to bring my take-out up to the unit... She's very nice, they kinda all are... (it's their job!!!) and also firm in her role/position as Nurse, emphasizing and telling me that (same as "tough love" that Mom had) these are the program rules and my responsibility as the patient to allow and trust the doctors here, more than I trust the Chinese take-out that isn't Kosher, organic or vegan, to care for me the best way they can... (yadda, yadda, yadda - not her my Nurse L, but the doctors' plan/program... My (terrible and righteous) response was, "They did not even discuss the meds/plan with me [Thursday] before they left [Friday, a "holiday"] (for "vacation"), or asked me if I had tried this (med) before and if I have any allergic reactions, allergies to this medication...."
After I tried to enjoy the mediocre American-Chinese take-out surprise (the receipt and the dishes), I worked on the constantly crashing laptop (Thanks, Brad!!! for installing whatever you want on my computer instead of the operating system and programs that originally were installed on it by Toshiba and myself.... Thanks, a lot!!!!) and late into the night after watching some Hulu and talking with my Dad finally since his line was busy earlier (unsure if his phone was disconnected again because it had been non-functional several times in the past month), I returned to the blitzing new cell phone HTC MyTouch, to continue browsing through the apps and programs.... (it's after 11:30-something-ish now, and one of the floor nurses just poked her head in to check to see if I am asleep or still up, and if so how much longer....???), that's when I re-discovered Dave from BlueSkies on YouTube / on my internet phone, to lul me to sleep...
The following is one of his latest videos that I haven't seen since I discovered his talent/art/music back during the summer, when YY still lived with me in my former house where I rented a room (the dining room converted to a private room) between the living room and the kitchen on the corner of the house which faced E-W Hwy at the corner of Rt.1... (Ahhhh.... the good ol' warm sunny days of summer that I miss sooooooo much and the comfort of living in a house instead of a crappy weird dangerous apartment building, with a back yard I used to lay out on/in my bikini before my back "went out" (lumbago) which caused me to gain 15lb. due to inability to move and becoming bed-ridden and then trapped in the house with steep stairs inside and out without access for me to use my walker or new wheelchair now stuck in the basement since June 12, [where my former landlord was discriminating against me/my disabilities and income-source and refused to allow the state DORS Voc.Rehab./and independent living offices to assist me with getting a wheelchair-accessible ramp installed via grants/funding, (who is fortunate that I haven't file discrimination suit against him and his wife ("she says we should have never let you move in to begin with...") on Federal Fair Housing ADA law stating that any property owner/landlord are barred from discriminating against persons with disabilities and must allow for accessibility to dwelling units in structures with a minimum of 5 individual dwelling units (and he was renting 5 rooms with two girls in one room upstairs who each had separate leases, so it was 6 leases total and 5 private/individual dwelling units)], as if I were on house-arrest (nothing like Dr. Liu Xioabo's wife Liu Xia, though in Communist China for the Nobel Peace Award), and is now being used as a Parking Lot!!! (they're killing the non-grass weed/four-leafed clover-honey patches) by my new, now former roommates from Eastern Shore (who are only 20-21) attending the local big state university.... (and one of them, T says she may be failing college due to addiction to some stupid on-line video game she plays with the rest of her house-mates - Thank GOD I'm free from radio, TV, video game - addictions.... I just have social media addiction, which is good for my future career as a producer and for marketing my business and products/services/projects.... Ahhhhh.... one day sooooooon.... ) ....
And so here it is: one of Dave from BlueSkies' new videos this year (my new fave artist who is someone else besides me...): Enjoy!!! Fame and Success, a great combination of his many talents
I love his HD video producing and editing, his ability to rap and sing melodies (and with himself), his Brit accent, 4Daves, and what he is saying in his lyrics: Dave is real true talent that deserves Success and Fame, his writing and his musical abilities, and the message that most people who receive attention become famous for their lack of true talent(or mediocracy) and then acquire success and riches for only mediocracy and/or lack of true talent... this is how I feel about the Corporate controlled Media, and why I love Internet and FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION, FREE SPEECH where REAL TALENTED PEOPLE CAN SHARE THEIR CREATIONS WITH THE WORLD... Amen!!! (btw I'm spiritual non-religious, will explain later in another chapter or book, depending on how long it may take to write about THAT experience and history...)
ReplyDeleteO! K! I just wrote a really nice thought and it was deleted or rather omitted by the browser saying it cannot find the server Blogger.com .... great, I can see a lot of these type of comments in the future, however I certainly hope this is the first and last one of its kind (for now anywho)... (I have amnesia aka STML short term memory loss from an old TBI injury, so this is a terrible process!!! darn you T-mobile internet and Brad!!!!) .... (@#$%^&!!!!)
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